I had a rough weekend; things got stirred up and I think I found a new edge. There was a moment on Sunday when I just couldn't move. I ended up sitting in my car which was parked in the garage. Just me and a couple of bags of groceries from Rainbow. Once I got to the point where I gave in and just sat there without trying to force myself to move I felt better.
It was kind of amazing to discover and lean into a place where I could go no further. Pema writes about this in 'Start Where You Are - The Wisdom Of No Escape'. I happened to crack that particular book later in the afternoon after said edge discovery. I don't remember verbatim what she wrote but I do remember her talking about the idea that it doesn't really matter where you are when you discover your edge the point is that you reached it, notice it and can learn from it.
I'm not totally certain what I'm learning from this particular edge but I do know that the more I open my heart to myself and this place the easier it is to be with it.
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