Charlie Wilson's War And Everything Else

I saw Charlie Wilson's War last night with a friend of mine who is rather geo-politically minded. In the end the flick is a rental but worth seeing. I was pleased to see a relatively mainstream American film that attempted to tell the story of our involvement in arming the Muhjadeen against the Soviets.

After the flick my friend and I were talking politics; he's set on voting for Ron Paul and believes that anyone who is truly anti-war has no other option. I'm afraid he's correct. And I'm also afraid that he was correct when he said Paul will lose and we'll likely start a few other wars and bankrupt ourselves. I can see this as a distinct possibility and it pains me because I don't know what to do, where to go or really where the hell I belong in all of this.

Last Fall I attended a weekend retreat led by Pema Chodron that centered around Cultivating Peace In a Time of War. At first blush I wasn't really interested in the topic - it sounded too 1969 to me. I paid for the pricey ticket because Pema was going to speak and I really wanted to witness her teaching in real time.

What Pema chose to focus on was starting with our relationship to ourselves as a way to cultivate peace. She taught how to cultivate unconditional friendliness for ourselves which is really a genius concept. If we could only be friendly towards every thing that comes up within us the odds that anyone would be motivated to commit acts of violence would be pretty slim. Unconditional friendliness is like being willing to simply say 'hello' to every twitch, twinge, itch, smile, fright, fear, shiver, chuckle, shutter, daze, confusion, passion, ambivalence ...... thing that arises within. This is no small task; it requires discipline and patience not to mention a willingness to sit with feelings that are all too often highly uncomfortable.

This is something I attempt to do and often I forget to do it. Last night as my friend was rattling off different futures that may befall us here in the US I got very depressed and frustrated. I felt helpless. And I wondered what he thought his part in all of this was; especially if his vote was for a candidate that was destined to lose.

While all of this was reeling in my mind Pema's teachings were percolating in the background. I started to get conscious of my breath and calm my mind. I remembered how much power we each have as individuals when we choose to accept responsibility for ourselves.

And then I felt relief. The world became a much smaller place in my mind. The overwhelm and sense of impending doom subsided.

I still wonder if on some level what I experienced was a form of denial. I'm sure through some lens one could see it that way. I like to think of it as the one of the only viable realistic actions I could possibly take. I can't save the world, Iraq or this country but I can save myself. Thankfully.

Everything Is Great In 2008

Wow - this year got started with a rush of change and shifting energy.

No longer working on Lexy and now taking some time to look at what's next and pursue some personal projects. Namely, writing an app that grabs data from a bunch of different sources and mashes it together. Yeah, I know not particularly original but I'm writing in Java for the first time in about 8 years which is .... well fun and humbling and well fun and humbling.

Wondering what the future of online music is in 2008? It's nearly been 10 years since I started working in the space and what's remarkable to me is that while the technology and people involved have grown and changed we're still trying to solve the same problems. Is this sad or just commentary on the nature of evolution?

Training like mad - well not like mad - but training nonetheless and now being asked to eat eight egg whites a day? Yeah, there's gonna be a whole lot of salsa involved in that equation.