Exhaustion

Training session numero two this morning .... holy crap.

I'm exhausted.

So the skinny is that we are focusing on muscle strength endurance - and mine to date - well it pretty much sucks. Good news is that my core strength and flexibility are very good - thank you bikram yoga. So we are starting in the area that needs the most work.

It's more than the workout ... Monday morning startup - 4 voicemails, texts and missed calls before 9am - follow up investor presentation at 9:30am - sms gateway was down over the weekend - production studio needs attention - production scripts need attention - new people in the office need tending to - developers need answers to questions so they can estimate feature costs. Feedback comes in from board members - needs to be addressed.

I juggle.

All Day Long.

And when I walk to the BART to go home I can barely make it to the platform wishing someone other than me was gonna make my dinner. Salmon and broccoli.

I realized recently that as oldest kid in my family and well a bunch of other factors I tend to relate to other people through my responsibility to them. This lines me up for responsibility and accountability. It's a double edged sword that's been cutting me up lately mostly cause I don't wanna relate this way anymore; but it's what I've known and done and is habit.

It's been interesting as I work to change this people get pissy with me - as is common when people make changes - 'hey! you're not acting the way i've come to expect!'. Well, yeah, get over it.

Burning Man was so good for me - so much permission to indulge and let go of responsibility. I'd give a lot for one night on my own on the playa, bike in tow - dance floors everywhere. Ahhhhhhh - so divine. No one cares if you're alone or with a heap of friends.

Fall Focus

And here's the laundry list for the next 3 months:

- Working On Graduate Meditation At PH

- Working On My Energy Healing Practice

- Working Out With A Personal Fitness Trainer

I sense a theme here ...... working ...... yes indeed.

Oh and I failed to mention my new startup that is *working* in stealth mode is scheduled to open for Preview this Fall! I'm excited and BUSY.

Aside from this, I'm really focusing on living from my heart and not so much my head. And this feels very good.

Summer Highlights

Learning To Surf

Which might better read, learning how to be pummeled by the ocean and love every minute of it.

A Return To The Land Of Startups

Yeah, third time is the charm, baby. More about this one later.

Burning Man 2007 - My First Time

Yeah, I finally went. And boy did I ever need to. There is a lot to be said for five days of .... where to begin? Desert, dancing, drugs (did I take any of those? ;-), dust, dirt, debauchery, decadence and those are just the ones with the first letter being 'd'.

It's an awesome experience that can't be described; far, far more than a substance fueled party in the desert. It's a lot of things and something different for everyone that attends from what I could surmise.

3rd Blog Begins

I've felt like making a new one for awhile; postings on Sound In Your Head were getting to resemble an older version of myself that while I appreciate certainly doesn't resonate. I stopped posting for a time as well which I felt pretty good about. Personal blogging can be fairly self indulgent and at times I'm really okay with that and at others it makes me cringe.

I guess I'm feeling the need to express again?

Dunno let's see how it goes.

And my title - - - - it's snagged from the headline of my online dating profile which reads 'The Love Child Of Eddie Izzard and Pema Chodron' - - - yeah, that'd be me. If only in my heart and mind.